Resetting Rewires
Because even on the hardest days, there’s always a way back to connection—and it doesn’t require perfection, just a small moment to start again.
Do you ever feel like you’ve been having a bad morning, a bad week—or let’s be honest, a bad month—with your kids?
You’re not alone. And you’re not failing. It’s easy to let frustrations take over, leading to arguments, tension, anger, or even emotional shutdowns—for both you and your child.
And while it’s tempting to blame it all on the usual suspects—unfinished chores, homework battles, screen time fights—the real pain usually comes from something deeper: disconnection.
TL;DR
When things feel tense or off-track with your child, it’s usually not about what’s happening on the surface. It’s about the disconnection underneath. The good news? You always have the power to reconnect—and reset.
Make a Moment
When we’re overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s natural to fall into a reactive parenting mode—yelling, nagging, or dishing out consequences just to regain control.
Rather than:
“Why can’t you ever do anything right?”
“I’m so tired of dealing with your mess!”
“You’re making my life miserable!”
Try instead:
“I don’t like the way things have been going lately: I’ve been grumpy and frustrated and feeling overwhelmed . . . Can we start over?”
“I know we’ve had a tough time lately, but I want you to know that I love you no matter what.”
“Let’s take a few minutes to talk about what’s been going on and how we can work together to improve things.”
Or skip the words and go straight to connection:
Invite your child to “read” a book to you—even if they’re not reading yet. Listen without correcting.
Sit beside them and ask what they’re working on—Legos, video games, homework, whatever. Be curious.
Play a simple game you both enjoy. (In our family, Hangman is a go-to while waiting at restaurants.)
With an older child, suggest grabbing a foo-foo drink together and starting fresh. (Yes, overpriced coffee counts as connection.)
The act of starting over—with empathy, presence, and even a bit of play—signals safety. And that resets everything.
TL;DR
Resetting the vibe doesn’t require a long lecture or a grand gesture. Just start over—with warmth, humility, and an open invitation to connect.
Why It Works
Here’s what I’ve learned: Kids want to reconnect. Even when they’re mad or withdrawn, they’ll almost always respond to a parent who’s reaching out to repair the relationship.
This is what family life looks like: rupture, repair, reset. Over and over again.
When you reset, you’re not pretending the tension didn’t happen—you’re leading the way toward healing it. And in doing so, you’re creating new neural pathways in your child’s brain and in your relationship. Pathways built on trust, empathy, and the understanding that love doesn’t vanish when things get hard.
That’s the rewiring part. And it’s powerful.
TL;DR
Resetting rewires the relationship. Every moment of repair creates connection, resilience, and the kind of safety kids need to grow.
Your MicroStep
Know that it’s never too late to start over. You always have a reset button. Take a breath. Reset. Then lead with the connection your family needs most.
Like what you're reading?
Grab my book, The MicroStep Method for the Overwhelmed Parent: Small Moments, Big Impact, for the entire collection of MicroSteps.