The Ten Minute Moment: One Secret to Happier Kids (and Parents!)
"Sometimes, the smallest moments hold the biggest magic—and all it takes is ten minutes to start seeing your child (and yourself) in a whole new light."
Could you find 10 minutes in your week for something important?
Could you find 20 if it would improve your child’s behavior?
The Ten Minute Moment is simple, profound, and designed to strengthen the connection between you and your child. And it takes just 10 minutes. That’s all. Once, maybe twice, a week.
TL;DR
This tiny commitment can spark major change. Just 10 minutes, once or twice a week, gives your child a felt sense of connection and presence—and it can shift everything from behavior to closeness.
Make a Moment
The hardest part isn’t putting your phone away—it’s putting yourself on hold and climbing into their world. Which is exactly why we start small: just 10 minutes, once or twice a week.
Children—especially our sensitive ones—are constantly asking:
Am I important to you?
Do I matter?
Do you see me?
And while we know we’re doing so much to show we care (those lunches and appointments and soccer snacks don’t make themselves), here’s the catch: that effort doesn’t always land the way we think.
They feel safer and more secure when our answer is “yes”—not just in words, but in action. The Ten Minute Moment is your chance to say yes with your full attention.
How to Start
Set the stage. Say, “I’m so excited for our special time today! Just you and me.” Let them name it—maybe it’s Ava Time or Eli Time.
Put away distractions. Turn your phone off. Yep—off. Set a timer for 10 minutes. It lets your child know this time is sacred... and your brain likes that it has an end point.
Let them lead. Ask, “What do you want to do?” Then resist the urge to direct. No screens, no structured activities—just you, following their lead.
Engage fully. Comment on what they’re doing. “Wow, you’re building such a tall tower!” “Tell me more about your dragon.” Don’t be afraid to be silly—kid gold. One of my girls still talks about the Tickle Monster that tried to eat her belly.
Handle big feelings. If they don’t want to stop when the timer goes off, that’s okay. Stay calm and compassionate: “I loved this time too. I can’t wait for the next one.”
TL;DR
This moment isn’t about productivity or perfection—it’s about presence. When kids feel truly seen and heard, their behavior starts to shift naturally.
Why It Works
It’s not about the activity—it’s about the feeling you create.
A weekly Ten Minute Moment tells your child:
You are enough. You are important to me.
Those small, consistent doses of connection help regulate their nervous system and build emotional safety. And when kids feel better, they do better.
Relationship science—not rocket science. That’s what’s at work here.
TL;DR
Tiny, regular doses of undivided attention are powerful. They build safety, trust, and cooperation—not through control, but through connection.
Your MicroStep
Choose one ten-minute block this week. Put it on your calendar. Give it a name. And then just show up—fully present, even if it feels silly. Watch what happens.
Like what you're reading?
Grab my book, The MicroStep Method for the Overwhelmed Parent: Small Moments, Big Impact, for the entire collection of MicroSteps.